I Will Only Sing Your Praise

Lots of movement happening. Physically, I moved for the seventh time in a year. Emotionally, many parts of my heart are being reopened and tested hard. Almost three weeks ago I packed up my 70 liter again, this time with more swim suits and less camping gear.

I could say I’m getting settled in to life here… no I was rocket launched in. But each day I am finding more to be thankful for in all of the insanity happening here at YWAM (Youth With A Mission) Puerto Rico, a small base run by an Argentinian-Puerto Rican family and a handful of staff. Day one I saw their hard working nature as I came along side to help prepare for the family outreach team from YWAM Tyler, Texas that has now been with us for almost 2 weeks! Needless to say, it is always a life-filled atmosphere here as we gained another 20+ people for a month of service on the island!

From helping a home for orphaned boys get back on its feet after the hurricane to worship, prayer, and cookie nights with families at the Ronald McDonald house, every day is a new opportunity with everything in between. Right now, my days are spent accompanying the outreach team to their project sites to help lead, take pictures, and participate in volunteering. Last year I had the blessing of working with ministries for a longer term that allowed me to build relationships and fully complete longer projects. It has definitely been a learning curve to reduce to one day with these projects, but the Lord has opened my eyes to the speed of how He works! Making the time I have intentional. One prayer, one hug, one cleaned out pantry DOES impact people in need. 

Each day is so completely different that it is hard to wrap it all up! Humbling, full, and stretching. The Lord has wrecked me of expectations, and entitlement while replacing it with new places of gratefulness, and fresh relationships. I did not know what I was really facing when I stepped off the plane in San Juan (never could’ve predicted this humidity either it's WACK.) The past year after graduating was huge for growing a raw real relationship with God. Now there is the drive of Paul to share the news. 

Recently, I re-read Philippians 1&2 and it was like falling on a fresh heart and wider eyes. As Paul sat in prison he was able to radiantly testify for the Lord because he saw the bigger picture that the Father views.  He was confident that God was not going to leave him for abandon. That he would be carried on to completion (Philippians 1:5). Seeing through the eyes of the Father, Paul recognized that he was in chains for Christ as it encouraged more followers to boldly proclaim the goodness of Truth (Philippians 1:13). How humble! If he had to choose between dying and getting to live in the perfection of heaven or stay in prison on a earth that beats him down, he chose to stay on earth (Philippians 1:23-24)! Paul understood that there will always be choices for self-gain, but gain for the kingdom takes intentional obedience. Obedience that usually makes you put others before yourself with gratefulness and gain only from the Lord (Philippians 2:4). 

Today for many Christians across the world there is a political threat of their lives like Paul, but for many of us we live seriously blessed lives. We allow the culture to convince us that the negative things in our lives are greater than the blessings. As I write this I have a now typical thick coating of bug spray all over, 3 fans blowing because there is no air conditioning, and ate rice and beans for the fourth meal in a row tonight. This is my new reality, and honestly the first while I was here I allowed it to get to my head. I let the language barrier be a blockade and my mind convinced me I was alone because we couldn’t freely communicate. Now I see that it is the push I need to finally learn Spanish, and my friends and family will always be there to pour life into me no matter how far apart. The constant sweating makes me so so grateful for the shower I am blessed with at the end of each day (I even get to choose if I want it hot or cold!!). Rice and beans makes it easy to be vegan! If Jesus himself was humbled enough to be treated like the lowest of people and obediently took the cross without blame, then who am I to have any kind of pride? Who am I to not praise and worship Him even when it’s hard to find the words? This is a hard, hard season with lots to overcome. But victory is in Christ, even when it hurts. 

Take this fainted heart

Take these tainted hands

Wash me in your love

Come like grace again

Even when my strength is lost

I'll praise you

Even when I have no song

I'll praise you

Even when it's hard to find the words

Louder then I'll sing your praise

I will only sing your praise

Take this mountain weight

Take these ocean tears

Hold me through the trial

Come like hope again

Even when the fight seems lost

I'll praise you

Even when it hurts like hell

I'll praise you

Even when it makes no sense to sing

Louder then I'll sing your praise

I will only sing your praise

And my heart burns only for you

You are all you are all I want

And my soul waits only for you

And I will sing till the morning has come

Lord my heart burns only for you

You are all you are all I want

And my soul waits only for you

And I will sing till the miracle comes

I will only sing your praise

Even when the morning comes

I'll praise you

Even when the fight is won

I'll praise you

Even when my time on earth is done

Louder then I'll sing your praise

I will only sing your praise

Even When It Hurts (Praise Song) by Hillsong United

photo-blog coming soon!